The Role of Boundaries in Nervous System Health

Many teachers, nonprofit employees, and others in “giving” careers struggle with boundaries, thinking that saying “no” or stepping back is selfish. The systems we work in often require us to do more with less, and we bridge that gap with our own wellbeing.

But boundaries are essential nervous system tools. They:

• Signal safety to your nervous system

• Prevent chronic activation

• Give you space to recharge

• Allow for more genuine, effective service

Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re protective scaffolding that keep you standing strong for the long term.

Here are some suggestions you can try to help you give yourself some space:

• Pausing a conversation when you feel dysregulated:
  “I want to come back to this when I can give it my full attention.”

• Scheduling buffer time between meetings or emotionally heavy tasks.

• Not being the “default” crisis responder for colleagues or clients.

• Saying “I want to support you, but I’m at capacity right now.”

• Taking break time even if you feel like you haven’t “earned” it.

• Stepping outside for a quiet moment when you feel overstimulated.

• Eating a meal without multitasking.

• Giving yourself permission to matter in the equation.

I’m a firm believer that boundary-setting happens more naturally as you do the internal work to connect with your nervous system. If setting boundaries or saying “not now” makes you feel more anxiety, it’s usually an indication that you’re prioritizing others’ needs over your own. When you’re in alignment with your body, you’re more able to gauge when you’re at capacity and this is critical skill for being able to sustain yourself in doing the work that you’re BORN FOR without burning out.