Building Capacity Instead of Forcing Calm

Regulation isn’t about forcing yourself to calm down. It’s about increasing your capacity to feel what you feel without shutting down or spiraling.

Capacity grows through:

• Small, safe challenges

• Restorative practices

• Trauma-informed boundaries

• Pausing before reacting

• Repairing ruptures with compassion

Capacity is what allows you to stay present in challenging moments. It roots you in enough safety to choose your response instead of being carried away by it.

If you constantly feel embarrassed by your own reactions, or realize that they are out of alignment for the intensity of the situation or context, this may be a sign that you need to build capacity. Like most things, you cannot will yourself into reacting differently. There are reasons why your body does what it does. And increasing capacity is easier when it’s done strategically and with support.

That’s where I come in!