The Truth About Gratitude
Every year around Thanksgiving, we are culturally obligated to reflect on what we are grateful for, and, while many of us have so much richness in our lives, feeling grateful - especially when people we love and the world around us are suffering so much - can be a difficult task.
Additionally, I’m sure each of us can relate to the feeling that being TOLD to be grateful doesn’t truly spark results. There is a little gnawing voice inside us, a subtle tug, that says “but…”
And in fact, gratitude isn’t just being “thankful” in one moment. It’s a state of readiness to show appreciation or thanks. So, how do we cultivate a readiness, when we feel - more than ever - the dissonance between what we have and want we wish for?
Well, if we look to the foundational text of yoga, Patanjali’s Sutras, we see that, just with most things in life, it’s is a practice. While the Sutras don’t talk about gratitude specifically, the second niyama is santosha, which translates to true contentment. The niyamas are virtues, attitudes and behaviors, which, when cultivated become habits that lead us away from suffering.
Understanding Santosha
Santosha means contentment—being able to feel okay with where you are right now, even if life isn’t perfect. It’s the practice of looking inward for steadiness and peace instead of chasing it through achievements, possessions, or the next big thing. Patanjali reminds us that real happiness doesn’t come from constantly getting more or fixing everything around us. It comes from accepting life as it is.
At its core, santosha is about gratitude and acceptance. It asks us to notice what is working, what is present, and what we do have. It’s not about settling or becoming passive. It’s about meeting each moment with a little more ease, and learning to move with the natural ups and downs of life instead of fighting them.
The Promise of “Unsurpassed Happiness”
Patanjali says that through santosha, we can experience “unsurpassed happiness”—a deep steadiness and joy that doesn’t disappear every time life shifts.
That teaching can feel almost unbelievable in a world that tells us happiness is always in the next goal, next purchase, or next accomplishment. But santosha flips the script. It teaches us that lasting joy comes from inside, not from constantly striving.
When we practice contentment, we move our attention away from comparison and craving and toward gratitude. We stop resisting what is and start allowing ourselves to be present with life as it unfolds. That alone brings more peace.
How to Practice Santosha in Daily Life
Santosha is something you build little by little through intention and awareness. Here are simple ways to start:
Actively Practice Gratitude as a Habit: Each morning before you start your day, name a few things you’re grateful for—tiny things count. It trains your mind to notice what’s already here. Each night before you sleep, name a few more things. This can be a beautiful bookend to your day, no matter what happened.
Acceptance: When something difficult arises, try meeting it with honesty and acceptance instead of pushing it away. This isn’t giving up; it’s relaxing the fight with reality. You don’t have to “use gratitude” as a Pollyanna way of staying in toxic positivity. You can practice being content with the nature of things as they are.
Being Present: Contentment grows when you’re actually in your life. Whether you’re eating, working, or doing yoga, try to be fully with the moment in front of you.
Letting Go of Comparison: Constant comparison steals joy. Practice paying attention to your own path instead of measuring yourself against others. Taking a break from social media can really help you realize how you’re comparing yourself to others.
Moderating Desires: Notice when wanting turns into restlessness. Enjoy what you enjoy—just be aware of when desire starts pulling you out of center.
Santosha on the Yoga Mat
On the mat, santosha invites us to be okay with where we are today. Instead of chasing the “perfect” pose or the “perfect” asana practice, we find satisfaction in the effort and in the breath. This softens judgment and frustration and opens the door to a more peaceful practice.
Yoga isn’t about achieving the next level of strength or flexibility. It’s about being present for the experience in your body, right now. When we practice santosha, we discover the real joy of yoga: feeling grounded and connected as we are. And each day is different.
This Thanksgiving…
If it feels hollow to show up one day of the year and put your “gratitude attitude” on, then this may be your sign that you’re not cultivating a continuous state of appreciation in your daily life. While this is understandable in the times we are living in, it’s also more necessary than ever to choose what you notice carefully. Your mind will lead you where it’s already been. Why not try a new avenue?